...Two Bits
Got a haircut last night at Slope Barber on Fifth Avenue. I love this place. You should go there even if you don’t live in Brooklyn. Even if you don’t live in New York, you should come visit us and get your haircut there.
But call first. Just don’t drop in and knock on the door. We may not answer. We may just stare at your from behind the peep hole. You may think you hear us giggling as you lug your bags back out into the street, but that’s just the television. We leave it on when we’re not home.
We get our hair cut by Kathy, because she seems like the only one who can use scissors. The guys can take care of you if you need a Gumby fade or “Brooklyn” carved into the back of your head. Well, the truth is while we were there a kid came in trying to get “Brooklyn” carved into the back of his head, but the veteran guy – a dreadlocked African American with a Rastafari patch on his smock – pretended like he didn’t know how. It was near closing time and a proper “Brooklyn” would take a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I like my haircut and I like my kid’s haircut, but the real reason I like going there is for the conversation. Last time we were there we got the lowdown on all the best tattoo artists in New York. There’s this dude who lives near Bay Ridge who use to take breaks in the middle of tat jobs to shoot heroine. Apparently he’s off the horse now and there was some debate as to whether the quality of his work has suffered for it.
Yesterday the debate focused mostly on corns and the best way to remove them. A longtime customer came in to show off his purchase from the pharmacy. It was a medicated corn removal product and Rastafari lamented his own corn. He’s had it since the Biltmore Ballroom, he said, which translated to the Gregorian calendar would be roughly sometime between 1987 and 1995. He went on about the ’gators and British Knights collecting dust in his closet, because the pain of wearing them is too unbearable.
Kathy suggested soaking the corn in hot water, letting the center “rise to the top,” then digging it out with a razor. From there the conversation spanned topics ranging from the deviltry of George Bush and Tony Blair to a lawsuit involving lead poisoning at the Brooklyn Arms in Fort Greene to the love child of Diana Ross and Michael Jackson (Evan Ross).
Seriously, that was the most entertaining haircut I ever got in my life. (4 stars)
But call first. Just don’t drop in and knock on the door. We may not answer. We may just stare at your from behind the peep hole. You may think you hear us giggling as you lug your bags back out into the street, but that’s just the television. We leave it on when we’re not home.
We get our hair cut by Kathy, because she seems like the only one who can use scissors. The guys can take care of you if you need a Gumby fade or “Brooklyn” carved into the back of your head. Well, the truth is while we were there a kid came in trying to get “Brooklyn” carved into the back of his head, but the veteran guy – a dreadlocked African American with a Rastafari patch on his smock – pretended like he didn’t know how. It was near closing time and a proper “Brooklyn” would take a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I like my haircut and I like my kid’s haircut, but the real reason I like going there is for the conversation. Last time we were there we got the lowdown on all the best tattoo artists in New York. There’s this dude who lives near Bay Ridge who use to take breaks in the middle of tat jobs to shoot heroine. Apparently he’s off the horse now and there was some debate as to whether the quality of his work has suffered for it.
Yesterday the debate focused mostly on corns and the best way to remove them. A longtime customer came in to show off his purchase from the pharmacy. It was a medicated corn removal product and Rastafari lamented his own corn. He’s had it since the Biltmore Ballroom, he said, which translated to the Gregorian calendar would be roughly sometime between 1987 and 1995. He went on about the ’gators and British Knights collecting dust in his closet, because the pain of wearing them is too unbearable.
Kathy suggested soaking the corn in hot water, letting the center “rise to the top,” then digging it out with a razor. From there the conversation spanned topics ranging from the deviltry of George Bush and Tony Blair to a lawsuit involving lead poisoning at the Brooklyn Arms in Fort Greene to the love child of Diana Ross and Michael Jackson (Evan Ross).
Seriously, that was the most entertaining haircut I ever got in my life. (4 stars)
Labels: hair cuts, park slope
posted by Mr. M/R and sometimes F @ 12:22 PM
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